Kelly's Story: very inspiring

Hi there Josh. My name is Kelly. I believe what you are doing is great! Last year I attempted to get a group going for my county in the USA, but we were unable to get it started due to conflict among the staff :( . But anyways! If you would like to hear my story, I would be happy to tell it to you. Though it is quite long!


My name is Kelly. I am nineteen-years-old now, and this Thanksgiving I will have a lot to thank for.

You see, when I was five years old, my parents divorced, and I lived with my mother. My father found a horrible girlfriend who had four children of her own. One night while I was sleeping over, my father came in the room and began instructing one of the older girls to touch me inappropriately. As the minutes went by, the torture increased. Before I knew what was happening, I lost my virginity to my father. When I told my mother the next week, she called CPS (Child Protection Services). They did a physical exam and said there was no proof, although the counselor they assigned me said what I had showed them on a doll, numerous times, was enough to convince her. Still, no actions were taken since there was no physical evidence.

As I grew up, I pushed this to the back of my mind, and forgot; Up until about three years ago. Three years ago is when my big depression hit. I won't go into details about it; all you need to know is that I went on a missions trip with a group I was in to New York City. It was my first time away from my mom, and I was doing great until they told me I couldn't call her or anyone else - even at night right before bed. They worked us eighteen hours a day for three days straight. Finally I was so homesick I sneaked a call to my mom and told her to come get me. After a long night of her and my director fighting, my mother said she would be flying in the next day. The next day, I faced my biggest fear of my life - Flying - and it was quite terrible, if I may say.

After that experience, I hit a real time low. My best friend(9 years) introduced me to cutting, my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, our other best friend(10 years) stopped talking to me. I knew these girls more than half my life, and suddenly I was a nobody, because I had started cutting. Soon it got around the school; Teachers and students alike ignored me and pretended I did not exist. I finally had enough and told someone I had been raped and I was pregnant. Why not go out with a bang, right? Well, it was a bang. Nobody believed me anyway, and I confessed I had lied. I was lucky nobody contacted the authorities. Finally, I tried to pull out of my depression, but I would go days, maybe even weeks, without saying a single word. At lunch I would yell my thoughts to my friends, trying ot make them look at me, but they wouldn't even flinch.

My mother suggested getting my GED one day when I came home sobbing my eyes out. The next day, I quit school. Since that day a year and a half ago, I have changed drastically. I will admit I have had some setbacks - minor and major. I still lapse in cutting, but I am so much better than I was last year and the year before that. I have made progress on moving on with my life and I am about to enter college next week. Last November, I wound up in a mental hospital because I tried to kill myself. You know what though? It ended up changing my life for the better, and I see the world differently now. I see the small things in life. A sharpened pencil is amazing, because it means I won't have to sharpen it when I want to write the next time. A penny on the ground means I can find ninety-nine more and have a dollar, another dollar to save for something fun. I know how to find my real friends, and I know what life is about. But best of all? I know I can get through life, and I am going to help others get through it too.

Well Josh, there you have it. Please use it if you wish. I did just want to say one thing to you though:

I saw this message, and thought it was spam. But something told me to open it anyway. When I did, I smiled. This past month has been rough on me, and I've been extremely depressed again. Beginning to feel like nobody cared, etc. But this e-mail, this foundation you are trying to build...it gave me hope once again. Thank you for another wonderful miracle.

-Kelly